I’m feeling blue.
I know that I do not really have that many reasons to feel so, yet that’s how it is.
I’m slightly disappointed with how my students’ exam scores turned out. But I know it was because I put too high of an expectation.
I’m bothered by how much workload I’ve been getting versus how much I’m getting rewarded for it. But I knew how it was going to be when I signed the contract almost seven years ago.
I’m frustrated because I know how important it is to say no and prioritize my happiness above everything else, yet I can’t seem to do it no matter how much I try. But then again, it’s because I hate that guilty feelings and I don’t want to inconvenience anyone.
I’m stressed by the whole coming back to live with my parents and having to constantly watch my words and actions to avoid controversy with my mom. But I knew it was going to be tough when I decided to come home.
I’m worried about our finances and how much our quality time will be reduced once we have to move out to BSD for my work in June and yet I still have to commute back and forth to Jakarta once a week. But I love most aspects of my job and I don’t want to give up on my career because of geographical issues.
In short, everything that is happening to me is the consequence of my own choice and I should take responsibility for it. However, at certain times it can be difficult to accept that.
I hate to complain, yet sometimes I just need to wallow in my thoughts until they all go away.
It can indeed be difficult to see the bright lights and be grateful for what I have.